Hypnobirthing

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. he told me how he would get upset & churn inside whenever he received a rejection slip. But worst of all, an early teen-age issue had returned—she was unconsciously pulling the hair from his head; he was ashamed that he needed to wear a kerchief. It could happen when he was reading, writing, or just watching TV. Emily suffered from trichotillomania, a disordering which people have an unconscious urge to pull out their hair to such a degree that some develop large bald spots. Victimized by a fear response that allowed anger to be expressed only in such a bizarre manner, Emily lived in a constant state of misery. Once his frustration & feeling of impotency built up to a certain point, his chi hood illness returned. he was not aware of the excruciating anxiety he was inflicting on herself while it was happening; his inner-turmoil coupled with his hypnotherapeutic capacity overrode any consciousness of the damage he was doing, physical or psychological. Nor had he understood the link in his case between his frustration & hair pulling. Emily felt that his body was his enemy & he needed to fight with herself to break the habit; there was something inside his he couldn’t take charge of that made his pull out his hair. he was convinced that if he was a truly good person, he wouldn’t have aproblem.I taught Emily a self-Hypnotherapy exercise that challenged those beliefs & gave his a choice. In the exercise, he imagined how wonderful it would be when he didn’t have to cover his head—how wonderful it would be to protect his body from injury. I asked hereto imagine his body sending his a signal whenever his hands started to reach up to pull out his hair. I suggested that each time that feeling grew in her; he should stroke his hair in a loving way & think about how nice his hair looked & felt when it was full. I prescribed that he does his exercise for 90 seconds every two hours. Within the week, Emily gained the consciousness he needed to stop the hair-pulling. Three months later, Emily’s hair had grown in, & he left90 91Chicago for another city where he felt he could grow & prosper as a writer. Jackie, an attractive, bright, 26-year-old who was working on a graduate degree in history, is an example of someone who was in treatment with a colleague, in both individual & couples therapy. his therapist sent his to me in the hope that I could teach his how-to relaxes. he was having issue s being touched, even by his boy friend. When anyone touched his he was flooded with negative feelings that overwhelmedher.During that first session, we talked a little.

he had developed a habit over the years that had become entrenched. he was clearly unhappy without his daily two glasses of Chablis. I created a self-hypnotherapeutic exercise for Beth in whom he imagined his baby had been born & he was sitting next to the child softly singing his to sleep. he went on to imagine that later in the evening he anther husband sat together in the living room, holding hands, happily making plans for a trip with the baby. Beth did this exercise faithfully, twice a day, & it worked. he gave up wine with yes regrets. Again, you can learn the self-Hypnotherapy fresh start method, you can learn how to use it, but you must choose tousle it. You are being offered a choice—a most powerful choice. You now have to want to use the fresh start method. You have to apply it in order for it to be effective. When Emily came to me he was in his mid-twenties & struggling to be a journalist. he had achieved certain degree of success in college—she was a star “investigative” reporter on the weekly newspaper—and assumed that his career after college would follow steady upward course. Instead, after moving from the Midwest to Chicago City where he felt the opportunities were the greatest in his field, he found the competition fierce. There were most like Emily trying to break into the literary big time—either as book or magazine editors, or as successful free-lance journalists. The first time he came to me, he was wearing kerchief, which didn’t seem appropriate to his age or style of dress. he was genuinely puzzled about his condition. In a shaky voice, he told me his history & how hard he was working trying to sell articles to newspapers or magazineshe had developed a habit over the years that had become entrenched. he was clearly unhappy without his daily two glasses of Chablis. I created a self-hypnotherapeutic exercise for Beth in whom he imagined his baby had been born & he was sitting next to the child softly singing his to sleep. he went on to imagine that later in the evening he anther husband sat together in the living room, holding hands, happily making plans for a trip with the baby. Beth did this exercise faithfully, twice a day, & it worked. he gave up wine with yes regrets. Again, you can learn the self-Hypnotherapy fresh start method, you can learn how to use it, but you must choose tousle it. You are being offered a choice—a most powerful choice. You now have to want to use the fresh start method. You have to apply it in order for it to be effective. When Emily came to me he was in his mid-twenties & struggling to be a journalist. he had achieved certain degree of success in college—she was a star “investigative” reporter on the weekly newspaper—and assumed that his career after college would follow steady upward course. Instead, after moving from the Midwest to Chicago City where he felt the opportunities were the greatest in his field, he found the competition fierce. There were most like Emily trying to break into the literary big time—either as book or magazine editors, or as successful free-lance journalists. The first time he came to me, he was wearing kerchief, which didn’t seem appropriate to his age or style of dress. he was genuinely puzzled about his condition. In a shaky voice, he told me his history & how hard he was working trying to sell articles to newspapers or magazines

Hypnobirthing

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

Quit Smoking Hypnosis

Weight Loss Hypnosis

Study Habits Hypnosis

I believe that for people to reach certain goals & to feel good about themselves in the process, vigorous physical activity in keeping with age & condition (walking & swimming are ideal forms of exercise) can be as important as mental activity. The last time I heard from Martha, five months after our first & only session, his voice radiated happiness. “I love to look in the mirror now. I’ve lost 33pounds,” he said. “Seventeen to go, but I know I’ll make it, though I don’t use chocolate ice cream in my exercise any more. I’m sick of it. I’ve switched to ricepudding.Alcohol is a much far more difficult addiction to handle than either smoking or eating. By the time people come to see me, most have already lost their desire & motivation to change—and motivation is the key element in change. Alcohol, like long-term drug behavior (more often than not, these days, cocaine & heroin use), tends to make people motivational. As psychiatrist Edward J. Kantian, a specialist on drug treatment programs, has pointed out, addictive behavior starts as a form of self-medication. He argues that the major difficulty in treating recreational drug users is that their ability to take care of themselves is severely impaired. They have yes sense of danger or concern, despite obvious deterioration. Their motivation to choose & act differently is severely diminished. Without the desire to succeed, the fresh start methods I use seldom work. The majority of alcoholics come to me because someone has insisted they come, not because they want to change. I work with them, but I tell them that the exercise is not likely to help unless they join support group like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to keep them on track. While AA does not work for everyone, when an individual is ambivalent about change group support is a necessity along with professional treatment. If, on the other hands the motivation is clearly there, it is may be possible that self-Hypnotherapy will be very ef-.fective. The client has a good reason to stop drinking. Beth came to me in the second month of pregnancy. his obstetrician had warned his that wine before & with dinner (she & his husband were habitués of the “cocktail hour”) could possibly damage a fetus. Although Beth was by yes means an out-ofcontrolalcoholic,

Later, it became easier, & finally, as Martha continued to lose weight, a pleasure.- When weight-control clients ask to see me a second time after the initial visit & phone reinforcement, I ask how often they have done the exercise. I make it clear to them, as I do with my smoking clients, that the exercise has absolutely yes downside risks. You cannot overdose on it. In the first week, they should do their exercise as prescribed—at least eight to 10 times a day. Sometimes a client will tell me, “I’ve been busy. I only had time to do it two or three times.” “How come?” I ask. “Here you have a fresh start method that has a good chance of86 I helping you lose weight. Why aren’t you using it?” I’ve 87found that most people use weight as a shield, just as Martha did. It is not food they want so much as shield against the complexities of life. As College of Pittsburgh psychologists Carlos. Grille, Saul Hoffman, & Rena R. Wing found in study of the coping skills of dieters, the better equipped they were with a fresh start method to handle emotional upset & anger, the much less likely they were to relapse. The self-Hypnotherapy approach I use provides away in which dieters can focus on their goals & support their efforts, while acknowledging the situations that make them angry or upset. I suggest to my weight clients that they begin to take charge of their bodies. Reducing the amount of food one takes in is not sufficient to maintain a weightless. To lose & then keep weight at a desirable level, one must also exercise as a way to keep in shape & burn off some of the calories consumed.

Hypnobirthing

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I mean, how can it help me? Ice cream is fattening.”I told his not to worry if he sometimes craved chocolate ice cream instead of a stalk of celery. “If you choose only what’s good for you, you’ll set up a deprivation syndrome, & then when you stop dieting you’ll gain the weight right back. The goal of the exercise is to get you to satisfy your hunger without overeating, & yet to eat what you enjoy. If you wait forth full-stomach syndrome, you’re in trouble.” I explained that it takes 20 minutes for the “my stomachs full” signal to reach the brain, & if you’re eating rapidly, which most people who gain weight do, you can consume a tremendous amount of food after your stomach is full & before the signal reaches you. Look around in any restaurant & notice how quickly overweight people devour food; they hardly seem aware of what they eat. Obviously, food is necessary even for those overweight, & some of the time the urge to eat is truly healthy, normal response to the body’s need for nourishment. A useful approach is to find a variety of foods you like & that are good for you. Diets are a perfect time for discovering new meals & snacks. I approach the issue by showing you that you can lose weighting a way that will let you feel positive about yourself. If you eat too much, it is often because in our society eating is a way of being loving toward ourselves. It Isa reminder of parental love in which the presentation of food is a loving act. The rest of the world may kick you in the teeth, but food is a way you can be nice toyourself.I prescribed that Martha do a self-Hypnotherapy exercise about eight times a day—approximately once every two hours, for 90 seconds. The exercise was to first see his on two screens: the way he looked at the present & the way he would like to look. Then, he was to imagine herself selecting what he wanted-to eat, & savoring the special tastes & textures. Finally, he was to see herself stop eating when he was yes longer enjoying the food, yes matter how littler how much was left. As part of the prescription, I asked his to look in the mirror each morning, preferably with a minimal amount of clothing, so that he could project in the exercise an accurate view of the way he looked then. & as I do with all weightcontrolclients, I asked his to call me in a week. At first the exercise proved difficult, because when people have gained weight they tend to avoid looking at themselves in the mirror as a way to avoid dealing with the issue .

Hypnobirthing

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

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Weight Loss Hypnosis

Study Habits Hypnosis

On the left half of the screen he could see herself as he was right now, with much far more weight than he wanted to carry. I talked to Martha about realistic weight-loss goals. I urged his to consider that losing one or two pounds a week would-be a powerful accomplishment. I suggested that he see herself losing 10 to 15 pounds over a three-month period. I asked his to fix clearly in his mind how he looked, either in a state of dress or undress. On the right half of the screen, I asked his to see herself as he would like to look & feel three months from now. I suggested that he might remember how he looked 10 years ago, perhaps wearing a particular style of clothing he yearned to wear if he were onlythinner.Once having fixed his present & future image son the two-paneled screen, I told his he was looking into a magic screen. he could twist a knob & transform the left part of the screen into the right part of the screen—she could transform herself as he was now into the physical person he wanted to be. I then outlined some of the ways he could make that magical reality. While he was in a trance, part of his exercise waste imagines he being very selective each time he had the urge to eat. he would focus on the one or two foods he most desired. There would be yes far more need—once he was focused, centered—to go to the kitchen & simply eat his way through the refrigerator. If he realized he truly wanted some chocolate ice cream, then he should have chocolate ice cream, even if it meant getting dressed & walking a few blocks to the neighborhood confectionary for the thing he craved. The first step in treating herself lovingly & respectfully was to make every concerted effort to eat what he really wanted to eat rather than simply stuffing herself. Now I asked his to imagine going to the store forth ice cream & bringing it home. he put a scooping a dish. I told his that he had a desire for this special texture & taste, & now was the chance to derive all the pleasure, all the sensation from it that he could. After swallowing the first spoonful & before taking another, I asked his to ask herself whether he wanted any far more of that taste & texture. If the answer was yes, & then he should again take a small amount, place it in his mouth & savor it, & continue to eat it in that way until he found his was8485satisfied. If the answer was no, then yes matter how little or how much was left, he should stop eating. Out of trance, Martha told me that one part of the exercise bothered her. “It’s true I love chocolate ice-cream. But should I be using the exercise this way?

Hypnobirthing

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

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Study Habits Hypnosis

“I remember how happy & amused my family was by my large appetite,” he said. “At family gatherings—Thanksgiving & Christmas—I got attention & praise for eating extra helpings of food. It was considered ‘cute.’ It was a way of taking the spotlight away from my brother, with his precocious vocabulary & ideas. Weight was a constant issue , from pre-puberty on. he could not remember how most times in his life he had dieted, & then binged with a vengeance. “I’ve tried about every diet known to man,” he told me. “Scarsdale, Beverly Hills, Drinking Man, Water Retention, Papaya, & on & on. They all seem toehold out promise at first, but none of them work. Nothing changes in the place in me where I crave food.”Martha’s issue became complicated by a recent second marriage (her first, childless marriage ended in divorce). his husband, as he puts it, is “slim & handsome. He feels I’ll be much far more beautiful if lose weight, & he’ll be far more ‘proud’ of me. He uses the word ‘proud’ which upsets me. I said to him, ‘Why aren’t you proud of me for who I am, not how much Aweigh?’ But I understand his position. His work involves a lot of socializing & he wants me to be a part of that. But when I binge & gain far more weight, we get in these awful arguments.”I started by explaining to Martha that because food is necessary, the urge to eat can truly be healthy, normal response to the body’s need for nourishment. Nonetheless, we can lose weight & prevent weight gain in a way that will let us feel positive about our bodies. In his case, eating too much had its root in winning the love of others. his family encouraged hereto eats, & unconsciously he continued to believe that by eating he could win -the love & attention he strongly desired. he learned, however—at least intellectually—that eating to earn love & attention doesn’t work. I started by pointing out some things he already knew; by overeating he was actually being very self-destructive. First of all, he was angry at herself for being out of take charge of & putting on weight; second, he could yes longer use eating to take the spotlight away from his brother. The attention he received was exactly the opposite of what he wanted. Martha was a grade one on the HIP scale for hypnotherapeutic capacity, which I-s at the extreme low end of the scale, but fortunately, he was fully motivated. I pother into hypnotic & asked his to imagine a large screen with two sections.

Hypnobirthing

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

Quit Smoking Hypnosis

Weight Loss Hypnosis

Study Habits Hypnosis

Eating can prove to be a much far more complex issue than smoking, as the case of Martha clearly illustrates. When he first came to me he was an attractive woman who weighed about 50 pounds far more than he should. he had been in analysis for years & complained that it didn’t seem to help. “I’m spending all this money to get rid of excess pounds,” he told me, “and my analyst says my weight is only part of the issue . He says I’ve got things in my background that are making me eat. But I want to deal with my weight issue ; I’m not interested in my childhood. I haven’t got years to do this. It’s the money, for one thing. My husband’s insurance doesn’t cover therapy.”I understood his impatience. From his point of view, the analyst was refusing to deal immediately with what he considered the pressing issue at hand, and, instead insisted on reviewing his history & delving into his unconscious. I explained that itself-Hypnotherapy we focus on the specific issue , which we are often able to resolve without thoroughly exploring underlying issues. Often an analysis can become bogged down in what appears to be an unsolvable issue —such as weight control—and dealing directly with the issue via Hypnotherapy helps to alleviate the therapeutic roadblock. However, I wanton, that didn’t rule out the usefulness of the analytic method; it depends on the nature of the overall issue . In most cases, self-Hypnotherapy is used as an adjunct to psychoanalysis. I have often used it with my own analytic clients, & with those referred to me bother analysts. As in any form of therapy, I started by taking Martha’s history. he grew up in the Midwest, the daughter of a successful plumbing-supply manufacturer. he had an older brother, a brilliant boy doted on by his parents, who graduated from college before his twentieth birthday & is now an economics professor ate prestigious eastern college. From as early ashen could remember, Martha was type-cast as the “cuddly” one, the “toy child” of the family.

Hypnobirthing

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

Quit Smoking Hypnosis

Weight Loss Hypnosis

Study Habits Hypnosis

Afterwards, I repeat most of the issues I discussed in trance. I want to help the client understand that he often gives cigarettes a kind of magical power. Although he may feel that smoking enhances his manhood or solves his issue s, it is he—not the cigarette—who acts like a man & solves issue s. I tell him about the salesmen who come to me tostopsmoking and, at the time, truly believe they can’t call on an account or close without a cigarette. I describe the writers who tell me they can’t write without smoking. They speak as if the cigarettes are doing the writing. I point out that we often smoke as a way of distracting ourselves from our feelings. That when we use cigarettes for distraction, we rob ourselves of potential richness in our lives. Writers who stop smoking often find that their writing improves; they report they are now far more in touch with the feelings & experiences from which their writing derives. What does the habituated smoker learn in Hypnotherapy? He learns that smoking is a choice he makes in response to the urge. But the urge is not a choice. Feelings, desires, beliefs, & urges are not choices. The urges are automatic, integrated into the human system. But the action he takes in response to the urge Isa choice. He can choose what his actions are. The client is encouraged to ask questions & be free to express emotion. Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes a feeling of overpowering relief. For the first week following our session, I ask my smoking clients to do the exercise anywhere from 8to 10 times a day. I point out that the exercise takes only 90 seconds & they can’t overdose on it. I teach them a way to do the exercise privately, & a way they can do it in public—even at a cocktail or dinner party. “Am I doing it correctly?” is a common question I get from clients. “Did I go deep enough?” Luckily, for therapeutic purposes, depth of hypnotic has yes meaning. The consciousness of the external world will vary from time to time. As is the case when learning any skill, repetition is the key to success. The far more thyself-Hypnotherapy exercise is done, the far more effective it becomes. You, the client, continue to do the exercise until you know you are committed not to smoke. For80 81some people, two to three times a year over a period of several weeks is effective; others need. To do the exercise far more frequently & for longer periods.

Hypnobirthing

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

Quit Smoking Hypnosis

Weight Loss Hypnosis

Study Habits Hypnosis

Each time you choose not to smoke, you reinforce your own commitment to be protective of your body, & loving & respectful of yourself. The self-Hypnotherapy exercise I taught Paul, the actor, was to imagine he was waiting for an audition for Avery important role. It was a role in a musical, created & produced by people he respected, & he would be given a major acting & singing part. As he thought about smoking while he waited, he realized his throat would become raspy. He could choose between smoking & performing at his optimum. Even though he had the urge to smoke, the act was still a matter of choice, his choice. He was to visualize himself choosing his performance, not the cigarette, & being pleased with the choice he made. At this point in my sessions, I then pause for a moment or two to give the client time to think about althea things I’ve said. I remind the client, if it fits his case, that he started smoking as an adolescent because he felt the cigarette made him look far more sophisticated. Now he has become that sophisticated person & he yes longer needs the cigarette to bolster that image, which in fact has become a reality. We sit in silence then. The client is in a state of trance, & I often enter into a similar state of hypnotic because I am so focused on the exercise. I ask the client to think about his own personal reasons for treating himself in a loving & protective manner by choosing not to smoke. After a moment I bring the client out of trance. I tell him “I’m going to count backwards from three to one. At three, I want you to get ready. At two, with your eyes still closed, I want you to look up. And, at one, open your eyes & let them slowly come into focus.” I then count three. . Two . . . one & that’s the end of the exercise. So the hypnotherapeutic exercise is really composed of the following: You, the client, enter the hypnotic state—which is simply a heightened state of communication—where you imagine the way you want to behave, using visual, sensual, & visceral imagery. Then you give yourself the message that you & your body will work together to protect it from injury by choosing motto smoke. You remind yourself that the act is a choice. Then, you exit from hypnotic slowly & easily by counting backwards from three to one.

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